Inside the wacky world of Junior football with Glaswegian hack and Johnstone Burgh goalkeeper Fraser Wilson
I always scoffed when older and wiser team mates tried to warn me the body would start to stutter and stall when I hit 30. More fool me.
Two years after hitting that milestone - should that be millstone - my old chassis does indeed feel fit for the breakers yard.
Last night we played our 11th match in four weeks and I was so stiff when I walked into work this morning that my boss thought I was auditioning for Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks.
And I'm by no way the only one. With a schedule of three - even four - games a week the busiest person at Johnstone Burgh is our physio Michelle.
She's brilliant but her favourite catchphrase "man up" does little for self-esteem among junior footballers.
It's the same for all clubs at this manic stage of the season. Cramming so many matches into a week with work commitments thrown on top and all for the love of the game makes the professionals' mumbles that they play too much seem hollower than a Kinder Egg.
Spare a thought for Shotts Bon Accord players. They are in the middle of a run of 14 games in 30 days. But at least they have the carrot of the Scottish Cup Final against Auchinleck Talbot to drive them on.
The junior season is now into the most important fortnight of the campaign with the big titles set to be decided and most clubs are down to the bare bones of a squad.
It's simply a case of bandaging up, gritting the teeth and getting on with it.
Speaking of titles, our goalless draw with Forth Wanderers on Saturday settled two things - the first that we won't be promoted this season and the second that nobody can catch Carluke Rovers at the top.
So congratulations to the Lanarkshire side on their first championship in 40 years. They have taken a bit of stick this season but the league doesn't lie.
Well done also to promoted sides St Roch's and Forth Wanderers, the latter of whom injected a bit of SPL glamour into our division with former Dunfermline man Chris McGroarty and ex-Motherwell striker Kenny Wright.
If I'm honest those three sides have been the best in the division this season.
A massive pat on the back is also in order to Ashfield this week after they once again upset the odds to beat the mighty Auchinleck Talbot 3-0 down in Ayrshire to reach their first ever West of Scotland Cup final.
It's just another momentous 90 minutes for Stevie Rankin's side who have had a stunning season. If they could just go one further and shock Irvine Meadow in Saturday's final then it would top off a season to end all seasons up Possil way.
The last - but by no means least - round of applause goes to John Brogan's Yoker Athletic who have pipped Greenock to the second promotion spot in the first division by the skin of their teeth.
Last night's 3-1 win at Port Glasgow ensured the Holm park men sneaked into second place on goal difference and secured a second successive promotion.
It's hell of a tough on Stephen Mooney's Greenock who have sat second behind runaway champs Glasgow Perthshire since before Christmas.
But Yoker's late run of form was enough to see them over the finish line by the narrowest of margins and, after years spent in the district league they are now heading into unchartered Superleague territory.
Match of the day: Ashfield v Irvine Meadow, West of Scotland Cup Final, Newlandsfield Park, 2pm.
Team of the week: Yoker Athletic. It seemed impossible just over a month ago but John Brogan's men upset the odds - and many fans down Greenock way - to secure promotion to the Superleague First Division thanks to a final day victory at Port Glasgow last night.